


Wait a minute before sunrise

by mockavis, penguinberryfest



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, Light Angst, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, lots of longing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:21:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25461595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mockavis/pseuds/mockavis, https://archiveofourown.org/users/penguinberryfest/pseuds/penguinberryfest
Summary: Vignettes of Baekhyun’s life while his boyfriend is on the other side of the globe.5/10 wouldn’t recommend but with Kyungsoo, the efforts are worth it.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Do Kyungsoo | D.O
Comments: 18
Kudos: 50
Collections: Penguin Berry Fest- Round 02 (January- July 2020)





	Wait a minute before sunrise

**Author's Note:**

> **Prompt: BRY-98** \- Baekhyun and Kyungsoo are in a long- distance relationship. During their weekly Skype call, Baekhyun falls asleep in the middle of it. Kyungsoo decides to let him sleep, instead of waking him up, knowing that Baek had a long day. He was content to just listen to Baek’s puppy noises that he makes during sleep, the ones he pretends to have but secretly adore. He then falls asleep without ending the call.  
>  **Disclaimer: penguin berry fest does not own exo and/or any characters that are mentioned in the stories.** their appearance in these fics do not represent them in real life. authors will be tagged after reveals unless they wish to remain anonymous.  
>   
> Finally, I have something else to give to the world. It's been such a ride planning and writing this story, thinking it was too little or too much. In the end, I pulled through. All my friends and even my family deserve an award for having to hear me rant about not being able to write anything. Infinite thanks to the mods for organizing this round so well and being so patient and understanding until the end with me. To the prompter, I really hope you enjoy this a little bit because I have the feeling this wasn't fluffy enough. I love fluff, I don't know why I didn't make it all soft and cute. Dear readers, hope you have a good time with this! Take care everyone!

➶➶➶

10-09-19

“That’s all for today, guys. Please read the lecture for Thursday because we’re gonna talk about it in groups. Maybe, I’ll evaluate participation.” There are a few grunts heard from the back of the classroom as everyone packs their stuff to exit. “Keep your spirits up, students! The semester is just starting. I’ll see you next class.”

Baekhyun says goodbye to his teacher before heading to the exit door and unlocking his phone. Contrary to most people from that class, he doesn't have to hurry to the next one since there’s a two hours break in his schedule. Jongdae and he have already agreed to meet up to get lunch and he’s about to send him a text to ask where he is.

“Hey!” A loud shout in his ear startles him all of a sudden. When he looks up, he finds his friend smiling at him, leaning on the wall outside his classroom. “Stop texting while you walk, you’ll crash into someone.”

Baekhyun scowls at him. “I was about to text you so it would’ve been _your_ fault if I collided with someone.” At Jongdae’s eye roll, he starts making his way to the cafeteria. “Let’s hurry up, I’m starving.”

He hears Jongdae behind him. “Did you have breakfast?”

“No.” Baekhyun sheepishly answers. “I don’t really have the time to make anything lately.”

“Baekhyun, it’s barely the second week. How do you not have time to make breakfast for yourself?” Jongdae soothes the scolding in his tone by wrapping his arm around Baekhyun’s shoulders. “The problem here is that Kyungsoo used to make your breakfast all the time. Now you’re too lazy to wake up earlier to cook or buy something.”

“I’ll manage, Dae. Stop worrying.”

“I’m not worried.” Baekhyun turns to look at his friend, only to see a familiar playful grin in his face.

He mocks him. “Ha ha.”

When they finally reach the cafeteria, they manage to grab an empty table immediately, which is a whole miracle by itself since it’s rare to find one at 1 pm. Jongdae takes out his food container, Baekhyun decides on what to buy to eat and a gigantic man takes a seat in front of them.

“Why haven’t I seen you last week? Did you come to uni?” Chanyeol’s loud voice startles them more than his sudden appearance.

Jongdae gasps and points at him with his spoon. “What are you talking about? We’ve been here from day one. Where have _you_ been, Chanyeol? You said you were gonna share your sister’s cake with me.”

“Oh no, I ate it all,” mutters Chanyeol. “It was too good, I couldn’t help it.”

“Yeah, yeah, that’s exactly why you haven’t seen us yet. You’ve been avoiding us to not share your cake!”

Baekhyun giggles at his friends and stands up. “Yeol, are you gonna buy?” Chanyeol nods. “Let’s go then.” He waits for him to get up before going to the queue at the pizza stand.

“Please tell me you haven’t had pizza every day.”

“I haven’t.” He feels Chanyeol’s gaze on him so he faces him. “I haven’t! I’ve bought actual food, I have the proof on my phone if you wanna see.” Chanyeol starts cackling at his burst as he keeps talking. “Kyungsoo made me take photos of my meals after Sehunnie told him we had indigestion the weekend after his flight.” Baekhyun pouts, remembering his boyfriend’s unimpressed face on Skype and his talk about healthy food. Baekhyun didn’t mind listening to him, he loves hearing his voice and being taken care of. He actually eats well regularly, but that weekend he needed the comfort food to fight the separation.

After buying their pizzas, they both go back to their table where Jongdae is halfway through his meal. They settle down to eat and chat in the meantime.

“By the way, how’s Kyungsoo?” Chanyeol turns his attention to him as he cuts one piece of his pizza and lifts it to his mouth with a fork. “He hasn’t answered my texts for days now.”

Baekhyun snickers before drinking from his water bottle. “He’s been busy, with the whole getting used to his new place and integration sessions he has. I’ll remind him to text back.”

“Thank you, I don’t want him to forget about me already.” Chanyeol’s pout makes the others laugh.

Kyungsoo wouldn’t forget about his friends no matter how far he was. And he is far enough. His boyfriend’s still adapting to his new dorm at New York University and soon his classes would start too. Unlike Kyungsoo, Baekhyun still has two years to go through until being able to graduate as a statistician.

“Kyungsoo’s too kind to forget you,” Jongdae’s eyes widen as he finishes, “although he should for not going to the airport!”

Chanyeol groans and looks down at his pizza, managing to look small despite being the tallest in the table. “Don’t remind me of that, I’m regretful enough. I can’t believe I fell asleep. I even told him at the party that I was going!”

Baekhyun shakes his head with a smile on his face as he sees Jongdae laugh and put some of his veggies on Chanyeol’s plate. As funny as Chanyeol’s body expressions are, they both know how badly he had wanted to go see Kyungsoo off at the airport.

“Stop thinking about it so much. You stayed with him at the party almost all afternoon. What’s like, twelve hours of a difference since you saw him last?” Baekhyun asks.

“Twelv―It was like twenty hours! That’s almost a whole day!”

“Actually it was seventeen.” Jongdae adds before eating the crust Baekhyun cut apart from his pizza.

“Okay well, _the point is,_ get over it, you aren’t a bad best friend or whatever you’re torturing yourself with.” 

“I failed my duties.” Chanyeol’s wipes a nonexistent tear but he can’t stop the chuckle that escapes his mouth.

They all laugh again and keep eating peacefully until Baekhyun swats at Jongdae's arm. “You asshole, I was gonna eat that last.” Jongdae’s cackle resounds throughout the cafeteria.

➶➶➶

26-10-18

“Baek.” He heard his name from the bedroom just as he was fighting to keep the gigantic popcorn bowl and two glasses of juice in his arms. He was already making his way there so he didn’t feel like shouting back, better concentrate on making it safe there.

It didn’t seem like Kyungsoo understood that because he heard his name being called louder this time. “I’m coming! Don’t make me run, I’m carrying the only snacks we’re gonna have tonight.” He finally entered the room, going straight to the nightstand. “I’m not making any more food.”

Baekhyun waited three seconds for his boyfriend to help him put everything down safely, but when nothing came, he looked at him. He was ready to pout for his attention when he noticed Kyungsoo’s shocked face. “Babe, what is it?”

Kyungsoo turned to stare at him, then the food on his arms that seemed to shake him out of the shock. “Oh sorry, I, uh,” he stuttered as he set the laptop away from his lap to reach for the two glasses and put them on the nightstand.

With empty arms, Baekhyun moved to sit next to him. “Hey, what is it? What happened?”

Kyungsoo looked at him once again. Finally, a small grin started appearing. “I got an email. From the Office of International Affairs.”

Baekhyun gasped at the reminder of what they had both been waiting for for the past month. Kyungsoo’s application for the Exchange Program had been the main subject between them since the last semester, and a whole test for their one-year-old relationship. As any other person who cared, Baekhyun had supported his boyfriend immediately, both when he told him about his plans and when he decided to go for the full academic year at New York University instead of only one semester. That way, Kyungsoo would be spending his last terms of Finance abroad.

It hadn’t stopped him from feeling this slight fear of abandonment every time he thought about what was to come, because it was obvious to him that Kyungsoo would be accepted. He wasn’t the top student in his faculty but he had the grades needed, all requirements met, and a marvelous essay that would put to shame all the Linguistics Department. They had talked about it so many times but it never got old, the reassurement and understanding they both needed to face this together.

Now that it was here, Baekhyun pushed away the sudden tiny hope for a negative answer. He was anything but a supporter of his boyfriend’s goals and wouldn’t let his fears change that anytime soon. “Did you read it?”

“No, I haven’t even opened it.” Kyungsoo moved a bit to make more space for Baekhyun to sit. “Want to read it with you.”

Baekhyun grabbed the laptop and put it on their legs. “Okay, okay, I’m here, open it.” When Kyungsoo made no move, he turned to find furrowed eyebrows instead. “What’s on your head, Soo?”

“What if”―Kyungsoo took a second before finishing his question―“the answer in there is not what I want?”

Baekhyun stared at him as he mulled over his words. “No matter what’s in there, Kyungsoo, you’re gonna go study abroad as you want. Might be now,” he said, pointing at the screen, “might be later. You know there’s always postgraduate programs.”

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes before looking at him with a small smile. “That’s way too expensive, Baek. You know it.”

“Scholarships exist, babe.” When Kyungsoo started to shake his head, Baekhyun threw his arms around his neck to push his face against Kyungsoo’s temple and cheek. “No, no, no! No belittling yourself, less in my presence!”

Kyungsoo groaned in fake annoyance, but wrapped an arm around his waist. “Okay, stop, okay.” When Baekhyun gave him space again, keeping one hand on his nape, Kyungsoo smirked in silence at him.

Baekhyun let him have a moment of serenity before asking if he was ready to open the email. Kyungsoo murmured in agreement and squeezed his waist softly. “Give me a kiss first?” Baekhyun grinned and leaned in. A peck turned into two and then five, after a whisper of _one more_.

Looking more composed, Kyungsoo looked back to the laptop. “Let’s do it.”

➶➶➶

12-10-19

_Sunlight._

_Sunlight enters the windows of the living room, giving the whole room, kitchen included, a relaxed atmosphere. Crush's soothing voice comes from the hallway as he starts on breakfast. He likes doing the pancakes from scratch, even if it takes him more time than average. Kyungsoo likes to whine about how long he takes but he’d stay by his side babbling about new recipes to try soon._

_While mixing the ingredients, he hears faint footsteps in the distance as well as the music getting louder. A grin spreads on his face as he feels arms wrap around his waist and his boyfriend's face nuzzled between his shoulder blades._

_"Have I told you lately how beautiful your back looks on this shirt?" Baekhyun feels his whole body shiver at Kyungsoo's husky voice, rough from sleep. "Really hot too."_

_He chuckles. "Morning, love."_

Baekhyun opens his eyes groggily, with the lingering feeling of soft caresses on his skin. He can see the brightness of daylight spilling from the side of the closed curtains, not enough to light up the room but enough to realize it was way past his alarm.

His arm flies towards the nightstand in search of his phone. If he is already late to class, better to stay and ask Jongdae for his notes. He doesn’t even know what class he has in―.

 ** _Sun, October 12th 2019. 9:24 am._** His phone reads.

So, no classes today.

He puts his phone down and away from his face, throwing one arm over his eyes while he stretches. The flitting image of Kyungsoo’s smile flashes on his mind, reminding him of his dream. Baekhyun sighs, already feeling the nostalgia creeping up on him. _I really should open the curtains_ , he thinks, making no move to get up whatsoever.

After a few minutes of silence, he puts his arms down and reaches for his phone again. His fingers, almost automatically, find his last called contact and press on it. He lets two faint rings pass before putting the phone on speaker, just as there’s a click and the voice he wanted to hear the most floods the room.

"Morning, Baekhyunee. Wasn't expecting your call for another hour." Baekhyun's chest tightens for a second before relaxing his whole body.

"Just for your knowledge, I've actually been getting up really early the past few weekends," he teases him, a small smile blooming on his face.

"You've been calling just as late as always."

"Maybe you're not my first priority of the day, baby." A giggle escapes his lips, letting Kyungsoo know of his playful intentions. Kyungsoo laughs, murmuring a smooth _okay, Baek._ Baekhyun sighs calmly just as dream-Kyungsoo appears in his mind once again. "Guess who appeared in my dreams again today."

Kyungsoo hums through the phone. "Your theology professor?"

" _No_ , oh my god, shut up."

"You said he was especially hot on Thursday, your mind might-"

"No!" Baekhyun shouts before dissolving into a fit of giggles, rolling on his front to nuzzle against the pillow. “I didn’t say ‘hot’, I’m sure of it.”

“You said, and I quote because I might have felt slightly jealous,” Baekhyun snorts, “ _he looked really hot today wow that dress shirt_ ” Kyungsoo says, making his voice slightly higher.

“Two years together and you still can’t imitate me, what kind of boyfriend you are.”

“The kind you like.”

There’s a comfortable silence settling on the line as they both listen to each other’s breathing. It’s breathtaking, how Kyungsoo can make him forget the distance between them and then fill him with such longing.

“Was it me?” At Baekhyun’s vague hum, he adds. “Did you dream of me?”

“Of course I did. It’s always you.”

“You wanna tell me?”

There’s another second of silence before Baekhyun answers. “It was just us here, making breakfast. Well, I was cooking, you were waking up.”

“Did something happen? Did we get attacked and you became a hero to save me from danger?”

Baekhyun laughs. “I didn’t tell you about my childhood dreams for you to use it against me.”

Mornings like this, talking with Kyungsoo on the phone, are a peaceful moment for him. They’re making an effort to schedule their calls as best as they can, considering timezones from Seoul to New York and each of their classes. Usually, throughout the week, they have two moments during the day to talk freely for a while: early in the morning and late at night for Baekhyun.

He’s getting up earlier than he used to when he had someone to wake him up. He makes himself breakfast, lunch and dinner; sets specific times for each since he doesn’t have anyone around to remind him to eat well. Apart from Jongdae, of course, who’s keen on making sure Baekhyun takes care of himself.

It’s not like he doesn’t know how to; living with Kyungsoo for almost two years has gotten him used to having someone else do it for him. Kyungsoo likes to care for people and Baekhyun loves being taken care of, especially since nobody apart from his family has done it before. He thinks Kyungsoo learnt it from his mom.

Sanghee is such a wonderful lady. Baekhyun had the honor of meeting her and Kyungsoo’s dad, Do Jicheol, when they moved in together. They had been dating for only four months so it was understandable his parents would want to talk. Baekhyun instantly put all his trust in them and told them about his worries over money, guilt for making his own parents spend so much on him, and how he wasn’t out to his family yet. Since then, they’ve been like a second family to him.

He’s not sure how much time has passed when Kyungsoo says, “Go shower, Baek.”

“I don’t want to,” he answers. He’s sure Kyungsoo can tell he’s pouting.

“Wanna watch a movie?”

A sudden grin appears on his face. “Yes!”

“Shower first.”

Baekhyun keeps quiet before sitting up lazily on the bed. “King of manipulation, I see.” He goes to the bathroom, phone in hand, with the most beautiful laugh ringing in his ears.

➶➶➶

09-02-19

“There’s something missing here. Don’t you think?” Baekhyun moved his eyes from the wall in front of them to Kyungsoo, who was fully engaged in the horror movie on the tv. They were cuddling on the couch to fight the fear of finding a dead bloody man right next to them, waiting in the hallway. The fact that it was 11 am and the sunlight was illuminating the whole apartment didn’t matter.

“I have no idea what you’re talk―he’s gonna come out from that door obviously, see, he’ll come out when they get distracted with their fight.”

Baekhyun rolled his eyes and shook Kyungsoo’s arm with barely any force. “Soo, c’mon, if you know what's gonna happen then don’t look and listen to me.” He made sure to keep his eyes on the other just when screams started coming from the movie.

“Yes?” Kyungsoo’s full attention was on him immediately. They locked eyes for a few seconds, with gruesome shouts of help in the background, before laughing. Baekhyun had no idea why they insisted on watching this type of movies when they ended up too scared to focus on them. “Okay, what were you saying?”

“Look at the wall,” said Baekhyun, pointing in front of them, “and tell me if it looks okay.”

“I can’t look at the wall.”

“Why?”

“I’m pretty sure they're showing all the dead bodies on the screen right now,” Kyungsoo said as he let out shaky laughs. Baekhyun giggled but never broke eye contact. When they both felt confident enough to look, Baekhyun took the remote and backed out from the movie. “Well, that’s another one we couldn’t finish.”

“It’s fine, nobody is keeping track.” Baekhyun leaned back on Kyungsoo again as they stared at the wall. “What do you think?”

“I think it looks exactly like it did yesterday.” At Baekhyun’s eyebrow raise, he chuckled. “What is it that you’re looking for?”

“I don´t know,” Baekhyun mumbled as he stared at the wall once again.

Kyungsoo gave a long glance around them. “Maybe it’s the emptiness?” He captured Baekhyun’s attention by pointing to their right. “The window’s there,” he turned slightly to point at their back, “our dogs here,” then he pointed at their left towards the wall connecting the entrance door and the hallway, “and my posters are there.” They both turned back ahead of them. “But there’s nothing here.”

Baekhyun hummed in agreement. It indeed made sense since right above the tv there was nothing on the wall, only the soft blue paint of the living room. What could be put up there? Pictures? Apart from the ones of their dogs, neither of them felt too comfortable putting up pictures of loved ones on display for everyone who visited. Shelves? They didn’t have enough interest to spend money on that.

Paintings then?

“We could put a painting on it?” he asked. Kyungsoo glanced at him briefly to give him a doubtful expression and he whined, “I don’t know, maybe we could find something nice on the internet.”

Kyungsoo laughed and stood up to grab the empty juice glasses as Baekhyun grabbed his phone. “While you search, I’ll refill these.”

Baekhyun typed _decorate your wall_ on the navigator. Kyungsoo’s voice came from the kitchen. “What if we watch that movie Jongdae mentioned this week?”

“Which one?” he asked back.

“I think it was―” A frustrated groan was heard. “That one about a video game and the jungle, I can’t remember the name.” Baekhyun giggled. “With Jack Black.”

“Jumanji?”

Kyungsoo entered the room again. “Yes, that one. The new version.” He nodded.

Just as Kyungsoo was about to press play on Netflix, Baekhyun jumped on his seat, startling him. “I know what we can do!”

Kyungsoo looked at him. “What, do what?”

“On the wall!”

One week later, they were standing in the living room once again, wearing t-shirts and boxers with no socks on, staring down at the white cardboard on the floor. There were two trays on each side of it, one full of light blue paint and the other with gray paint.

“I’m starting to doubt how well this will look.” Kyungsoo said, grabbing Baekhyun’s hand idly.

He smiled at Kyungsoo. “No time for regrets, love.” He lifted his phone to press play on the Spotify app.

**Tiempo de Vals**

**Chayanne**

As the starting notes of the song played, Baekhyun tossed his phone on the couch, making Kyungsoo laugh. He stepped on the light blue paint as Kyungsoo did the same on the gray one and mumbled _fuck, it’s cold_. Baekhyun kept chuckling as he moved his toes to feel the substance under it.

“Ready?” Kyungsoo asked. At Baekhyun’s nod, they both stepped on the cardboard. They grabbed hands, looking at each other and laughing as they got closer. “Okay, put your hand on my shoulder.”

“No, I said I wanted to start.” Baekhyun pouted as he put his right hand on Kyungsoo’s waist. “We change in the middle.”

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes fondly and settle his left hand on his shoulder. They started to sway slowly to the song, staring at their feet that barely moved from their initial position.

“I think we need to actually move for this to work.” Baekhyun said, making them laugh. They paced around calmly to the rhythm, looking into their eyes with soft smiles. After a minute, their hands changed positions and Kyungsoo made them turn the opposite way.

As the song finished, they embraced each other not moving anymore. They stayed like that for another minute, enjoying the warmth and comfort that surrounded them in their home. With a kiss on Baekhyun’s cheek, Kyungsoo pulled away. “Let’s get out carefully.”

Holding hands, they stepped on the sandals they had left ready on the side. They stared down once again to the once-white cardboard, where a chaos of light blue and gray footprints were.

“This is a mess.”

“Yeah.” Baekhyun agreed. He turned to Kyungsoo with wide eyes and hopeful expression on his face.

Kyungsoo looked back at him beaming. “Let’s put it up.”

➶➶➶

11-12-19

There are days like today, when the sky seems a bit gloomy and classes go by slower, and Baekhyun just can't wait for it to end. All he can think about is reaching his apartment, putting on his favorite kr&b playlists, and snuggling on his bed. Snacks too. He can't stop thinking about all the junk food he's been resisting from eating the last few weeks. Kyungsoo would buy him his favorite comfort snacks since he knows how to get him through his down days.

Yeah, that's also it. He can't stop thinking about Kyungsoo.

His fingers itch to unlock his phone and press the call button right there, in the middle of class. His heart aches to see his face and touch his body and hug him to no end.

Baekhyun sighs, pressing the unlock button on the side of his phone and looking at Kyungsoo's smile on his lock screen. It's one of those rare pictures he's been able to get him to be in. Kyungsoo's disinterest in photos means the pictures he has of his boyfriend have to be taken by him and that often means getting grumpy faces in return just to tease him. He would smile at him with his cute lips and cute laugh only when seeing Baekhyun pout.

Another sigh escaped his lips. Days like this are harder without Kyungsoo. And they've been more frequent since he left.

The worst thing about days like today lately is that he's started to hesitate on telling his boyfriend about them. He wants to text him, ask for his nice words and soothing voice, but a little voice of insecurity is nagging at him, telling him to not bother Kyungsoo.

He almost believes it. Almost. Because there is this other voice, his favorite voice, that reminds him of how much Kyungsoo loves him and wants to know about his day, even if he's too busy to answer immediately.

Baekhyun sighs one more time before grabbing his phone again and unlocking it. He opens their chat and starts typing quickly, not wanting to hesitate anymore.

To: the best boy 🥰

11:38 am

_Hope you're at home resting already <3 how were your classes today? and the rest of your day? _

_Mine hasn't started very good :( seems like it's gonna be another weird one_

_I've been thinking of popcorn and ice cream and sweet potatoes and you_

_Please send strength to the light of your eyes (_ _︶︿︶) he’ll send kisses back_

After the last sent, he locks his phone and looks back to the front. He's gonna have to read this last chapter of his course again tomorrow. Finals are next week and he really can’t afford feeling like this for long.

It’s around seven when he gets a text back from Kyungsoo. He's already at home, made a simple meal for himself, and laid down after with his gummy bears at hand. He’s been listening to music nonstop for a couple of hours while staring at the ceiling. His mood is better now, getting the notification helps getting over it.

From: the best boy 🥰

6:53 pm

_just woke up sorry i couldn’t call yesterday_

_i’ll call now ok?_

He smiles as his phone starts ringing. Baekhyun greets him, “I just realized I never took that photo in your contact.”

Kyungsoo’s soft chuckles sound in his ear. “Took you four months, Baek.”

“When did you even take that photo?” On it, Kyungsoo’s grinning all cutely at him, looking the happiest he’s ever been.

“The day before my flight. I only set it up when we were waiting on the terminal for―Did you really just notice it?” Kyungsoo sounds astonished at his slip up.

“Yeah, guess I was too distracted.”

Kyungsoo makes a pause before speaking again. “By the way, my day yesterday was _horrible_. Had to finish so many projects and”―he groans tiredly―“this huge presentation wasn’t loading on the web and it was about close already. Had to change formats and submit it with seconds left.”

Baekhyun snickers. “Rookie mistake.”

“It literally happened to you last semester,” says Kyungsoo with a deadpan tone, making him giggle. “Am I wrong to assume you’re feeling better now?”

Baekhyun shakes his head on impulse. “Nope. I _am_ calmer now.”

“What did you do?”

“Nothing much. Just ate my favorite foods and organized my thoughts. Stress is taking a toll on me.”

“I know, it’s always harder the last weeks.”

Baekhyun hums in agreement. “How long you have today?”

“I can stay with you for another hour, baby. Have to study until lunch.”

The endearment makes him want to giggle, but he suppresses it. Thinking of the classes he didn’t pay attention to today, he takes the chance. “Can we study together? I promise not to make any sound.”

Making Kyungsoo laugh, as softly as he’s doing in his ear right now, is so rewarding. “As if I wasn’t used to your noises.”

He grins. “So that’s a yes?”

“Of course it is.” Today started rough, but Baekhyun is sure tomorrow will be better.

➶➶➶

24-12-19

There’s a warm lump on his chest, shielding him from the cold coming through the slightly opened window. He opened it that afternoon to see the snow on the road for a while, feel the breeze numbing his fingers, but at some point, he fell asleep. He’s glad Mongryong decided to nap with him too. _On him._

He’s at his parents’ house, his home. _Second home._ He arrived two days ago to help his mom with the Christmas decorations. They’ve never been great for the Christmas feeling, not even being religious at all. Baekhyun blames consumerism for associating happiness and joy to lights around his house and delicious meals done by all the family. Last year was the first time he didn’t spend it here, instead choosing to stay with Kyungsoo. He thought of staying at the apartment this year too, but he knew Kyungsoo wouldn’t be able to spend it with him, not even through video calls. His parents had traveled to visit him in New York so he would be busy showing them around and having his much-needed family time.

And no, this doesn’t make Baekhyun feel even farther apart from him or as if he’s the only person in this world who can’t see him. Not at all.

Mongryong lifts his head when he blindly tries to grab his phone somewhere by his side. “Oh, sorry. Didn’t want to wake you up, cutie,” he coos. He misses his baby so much, almost has the urge to take him back with him no matter what stupid rules the building has.

Baekhyun sighs. His muscles relax against his bed as he tries to ignore that deep longing he’s feeling. Soon his parents will call him for dinner and there’s no way to excuse his melancholy to them.

When they finally gather to eat, he feels lighter, listening to his dad talk fondly about Mongryong’s shenanigans and his brother Baekbeom complain about his work and his mom teasing them all. He loves his family so much, it’s exactly why he’s so afraid of opening up to them about himself. About Kyungsoo. They know him as his roommate, are really happy Baekhyun made such a great friend for what he has told them about him. They wished him success and good health through the phone when they heard his acceptance on the exchange program.

He really doesn’t know how or when he’ll tell them about Kyungsoo as the love of his life.

“Baekhyunee, I actually wanted to say something to you.” His dad turns to look at him, sitting opposite each other. Baekhyun raises his eyebrows when everyone looks at him, even Mongryong comes to curl around his feet. “I know we don’t see you as often as we used to when you started university. I wish we could visit you more, but we don’t want to put pressure on you or use the time you might need for your studies. Please, let me finish, Baekhyun.” He closes his mouth, letting his dad go on. He’s never liked making his parents feel guilty. “We try to make the effort to talk to you when you tell us you aren’t so busy, but maybe that’s when you need our support the most. Phone calls aren’t enough to let you know how much we love you, son.” Baekhyun feels his eyes get watery. His dad wouldn’t understand how fitting his words are for him too. “You’ve been doing so well in your courses and I’m sure you’ve had to go through hard situations too. We’re really proud of you, Baekhyun. Of the person you’re growing to be.”

He can feel them, the words, in his tongue, wanting to jump and risk. Wanting to be known by the people who have seen him grow. He doesn’t feel prepared yet though. Doesn’t feel ready to face the consequences that could come with it, even if he’s sure there are fewer chances for them to be negative as the years go by.

He laughs and looks down, knowing full well there are tears falling from his eyes. He’s always been bad to stop them. “Dad, why do you have to be so serious about this.” Everyone chuckles, making the subtle tension disappear from the room. He takes his time to look up again. “I love you all. I’m so glad to be here.”

Her mom, sitting next to him, squeezes his right hand on the table and then cups his cheek. “We missed you.” With a final pat on it, she turned to ask Baekbeom about the funny anecdote he had mentioned earlier of his friends.

Someday, he will build the courage. Deep inside, he knows it will be soon.

➶➶➶

21-02-20

To: the best boy 🥰

12:23 pm

_Heeey, are you still awake? Wanna watch something together?_

Baekhyun scrolls up, looking at the 24 messages he’s sent in the last hour and the ones from that morning and the ones from yesterday too. The last response is from two days ago, Kyungsoo’s _can’t talk right now, eat dinner well, goodnight_. He hasn’t heard his voice in almost a week either.

He’s not angry. Not that much at least.

He groans, lets his head fall on the table, next to his lunch. He blames his vacations for this. This yearning for Kyungsoo’s attention. Without classes, projects to do, exams to study for, his mind has turned all his focus on how much he misses his boyfriend. He can’t help missing him in their bed, their kitchen, their couch, their shower, everywhere. Not even the few works he’s preparing for two online clients are enough to occupy his mind.

“I miss my boyfriend,” he says to no one.

There must be some explanation as to why Kyungsoo is doing exactly what they said not to do. Even his calls have been ignored too. All he can really do is wait for him to contact him.

Now he wishes he had to deal with mismatched teams needing to be pushed to work together like last semester. He would have something to do apart from whining to the air and Jongdae about his loneliness. His friend told him to be patient because Kyungsoo would probably have a valid reason for this attitude. ( _“Also, Baek, you’ve gone longer without calling during finals.”_ )

The text he’s been waiting for finds him on the couch the next day as he’s watching Shrek. It’s mostly for background noise since his eyes have been on the frame above the tv. He remembers the day they made it and remembers perfectly well how it wasn’t what they had expected. Somehow though, they deemed it perfect for their wall, light blue and gray splotches of paint that looked like footprints at some places. Lovely.

When he grabs his phone, his brows furrow. It’s 5:12 pm which means 4:12 am for Kyungsoo. It alerts him some, wondering why Kyungsoo’s first own text to him in two weeks is coming at this hour.

From: the best boy 🥰

5:12 pm

_hey can i call you? i really need to talk to you_

_please baek_

He sits up quickly, already marking his contact as he pauses the movie. Kyungsoo answers immediately.

“Hey.” His voice sounds soft, it’s a relief to hear for Baekhyun even though he can feel the desire to show his worry in angry monosyllables creeping up on him.

He keeps everything at bay. “Hey, how are you?”

“I uh.” A brief moment of silence follows. “I’m not so well actually.”

Baekhyun leans back on the couch. “Is that why you’ve barely talked to me this week?”

“Yeah, I’m sorry.” There’s a sudden intake of breath. “I’m really sorry. I should’ve answered.”

Baekhyun lets a few seconds pass before talking. “No, you don’t need to answer my random texts or calls. I can understand if—” he lowers his voice “—you have something else to do. I do want you to tell me how you feel, Kyungsoo. Not only when you’re happy, but when you’re sad too, when something worries you. Like right now.”

“I’m sorry, I know this was the agreement, I’m sorry. I just—” when Kyungsoo chokes on his words, he straightens on his seat.

“Kyungsoo.” he keeps his voice soft, not wanting to startle him. “Talk to me. Please.”

After a minute of silence, he sounds calmer next. “I need to see you.”

“Okay, let’s skype right now. I have my laptop here.”

“Don’t hang up.”

“I won’t.”

Baekhyun greets him with a wave and _my love_ when Kyungsoo appears on the screen. He seems to be on his bed, reclined against the wall. His face has never shown signs of tiredness during all the years he’s known him, but the obvious tears he’s wiping right now are evidence enough that something is happening. Nonetheless, he can’t help having a warm sensation on his chest after finally seeing him.

“Soo, what happened?”

“I’m exhausted, Baek.”

“Why, love? Are classes too hard on you?”

Kyungsoo shakes his head first, then nods uncertain and groans while covering his face. “I guess the classes are also in this but it’s not that much.”

Baekhyun stares at him firmly. “Kyungsoo, I’m gonna listen to everything you want to say. You can trust me, love.”

He lowers his hands right away. “I do. I do trust you.”

“Okay,” he says, smiling gently at him and extending his hands towards the screen, “pretend I’m holding your hands now.”

Kyungsoo’s face scrunches up on a laugh and extends his hands too. “They’re cold.”

“Shush, they’re always cold.”

He keeps chuckling as they lower their arms. “Fuck, I haven’t laughed for real this week.” With a big sigh, he says, “remember Jongin?”

“Yeah, your rich friend.” Baekhyun lifts one of the corners of his mouth. “Did he offer you a ride on his yacht or something? Are you gonna leave me for him?” he fake gasps.

“Baekhyun, shut the fuck up.” They’re both grinning now, even if Kyungsoo looks tired still. “He invited me to another of those fancy parties. I was really excited to go, you know?” He sniffs and looks to the side. “It felt like another opportunity to expand the network. Which is what I’ve been trying to do for months.”

“What happened?” he inquires quietly.

“I don’t really know? I mean, I met people, I put myself out there, initiated conversations. At least I could trust Jongin to not leave me alone.”

“And?”

Kyungsoo shrugs. “I felt so bad afterward. So insecure. I got here thinking that everything was such a waste of time. And it kinda is, you know?” He groans again and Baekhyun can see his eyes getting wet again. “Why did I have to choose this, Baek? Why Finance? Why one where I need to be social and quick and daring when I’m none of those?”

When he sees all the fight leave his body, his shoulders slack, Baekhyun sits on the floor to be right in front of his screen. “I’m gonna speak now, okay?” a murmur of _yes please_ makes him smile. “First of all, Kyungsoo, practically every career requires you to have networking skills now. It opens new opportunities for everyone, you know that.” He hears Kyungsoo sigh. “What you don’t know, or forget about, is how you do have those skills. Yes, it might take more effort for you, I know you don’t approach people out of nowhere just like that, but you know how to do so and you know what to say. Kyungsoo, you are charming and interesting and so much fun to listen to and I’m definitely not saying this as your boyfriend so stop laughing.” Kyungsoo covers his grin to not make a sound, but his narrowed eyes make Baekhyun whine slightly. “I’m serious! Just ask Jongdae, Chanyeol, my friends, your friends, the people in our majors, your teachers, my parents. Everyone! Call Jongin now, I bet he’ll say the same.”

“Stop, no, I won’t call anybody.” Kyungsoo keeps laughing. The exhaustion in his body is still distinct, but his red ears are giving Baekhyun some comfort. He hates this, seeing his boyfriend look defeated, crying, just not like his usual self.

He calls his name to grab his attention again. “Kyungsoo, if there’s anyone who won’t let anything get in his path to achieve what he wants, it’s you. You chose this career because you wanted it, right?” He nods. “Then nothing's gonna stop you now, not even your cute boyfriend. I’m sure of it.”

Kyungsoo doesn’t say anything, just looks at him with a barely distinct smile. As the seconds pass, Baekhyun starts to get restless in his place, Kyungsoo’s stare giving him shivers. “What?”

“I think I just fell in love with you all over again.”

Baekhyun catches his breath, an involuntary grin growing on his face even as his insides melt. “It's that easy, uh.”

Kyungsoo breaks his frozen expression to laugh freely again. “Shut up!”

➶➶➶

19-05-20

“Hey.” Baekhyun waves at his screen when Kyungsoo appears. They’re both sitting on their beds wearing pajamas one just changed into and the other woke up in.

“Hi, Baek.” Kyungsoo smiles softly as Baekhyun wraps the fluffy blanket he gave him last year around his shoulders. “Is Chanyeol still there?”

“Yeah, his internet is failing so he’s going to finish some stuff here.” He turns to the door for a second. “I left him in the living room.”

“Hope he doesn’t interrupt us like Jongdae did.”

Baekhyun snickers and looks down briefly. “I told him not to. This is my time with you, he can text you to schedule his best friend time if he wants.”

They haven’t been able to skype for two weeks since Baekhyun had ended his midterm exams and had no energy to do more than accept phone calls. Then Kyungsoo had given his own final exams (the last ones of his career!) and slept for the whole weekend.

With his academic year finished, Kyungsoo decided to stay for another month in New York to fully enjoy the city and manage the few job offers he had, both there and waiting in Korea. Baekhyun doesn’t want to think about what could the former mean in the future for them. All he knows is that he’ll support what Kyungsoo chooses.

“Jongin wants to come to Korea, says he misses it.”

“He should! He has the money too, bring him with you.”

“That’s exactly what I told him.” Baekhyun chuckles at the thought of Kyungsoo’s friend meeting his own. For what he has told him about the boy, who’s actually only two years younger than Baekhyun, he would get along just fine with Chanyeol. “He’ll probably arrange something after I go back.”

They move their chat towards Kyungsoo’s parents and the album Baekhyun discovered last week and at some point Kyungsoo starts playing soft r&b on his phone. Baekhyun thanks all the gods he doesn’t believe in and the universe for making their music choices so akin.

Baekhyun is starting to feel the exhaustion from his day. He had to deal once again with irresponsible team members who had no interest in doing their project right. It’s still early though, they have weeks to submit it.

He lays down on his side under the covers and sets the laptop in front of him. Kyungsoo smiles at him and does the same. They stare at each other for a long time, the faint music coming from Kyungsoo’s phone the only noise.

Baekhyun yawns, his hand covering his mouth two seconds late, before he looks at the screen again with eyes half-closed. “I can’t wait to have you here again. I miss you so much.”

“I miss you too. It’s gonna be soon, okay? Only another month.”

Baekhyun hums playfully. “I’ll set my timer.” They both laugh before resuming their conversation about their dogs and how they really should ignore the rules for once and bring Mongryong and Meokmul, Kyungsoo’s baby, to their home. They keep going to different subjects and it’s peaceful, mesmerizing, the way they talk and laugh as if nothing more mattered apart from them at that moment.

Around 11 pm, Baekhyun’s eyes close completely, leaving in the air what he was saying about Chanyeol eating his fried sweet potatoes in the kitchen. Kyungsoo observes. His hair in disarray and cheeks bigger than they were in the last few weeks. He looks so cute and soft and out of reach that his heart hurts a bit, knowing he has to wait some more to run his hands through his hair.

Suddenly, quiet whines start coming from Baekhyun. Kyungsoo’s heart grows. As much as he used to call them annoying to tease Baekhyun, his sleeping noises have been one of the things he has missed the most. Countless of times Baekhyun has fallen asleep during their calls and has given him the chance to hear him in his most vulnerable state, almost as if he was actually there next to him in their bed.

There’s a quiet knock on the door before Chanyeol’s head pops in, looking around until finding them. Kyungsoo makes a silent sign, hoping his best friend gets the message. Chanyeol grins and says goodbye with a wave, turning the lights off before closing the door.

He still can see Baekhyun’s serene face. Kyungsoo gets up silently to close all his curtains, leaving little light inside the room. He supposes he can go back to sleep now, with his favorite face in this world as the last thing he sees.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Last by Dvwn.
> 
> Here have this small thing I never wanted to expand on but was too vivid in my head.
> 
> “I missed having sex with you.”  
> “Oh, did you? Is that all you missed?”  
> “You know what I mean.”  
> “Yeah, I do. I missed it too.”  
> “I missed you.”  
> “I love you.”


End file.
